Taking Pride From Fear

I've been having repeated nightmares lately. They pose as useful alarm clocks though, if you see nightmares the other way round. The only thing worrying me this time is the fact that in all 3 nightmares a few days ago, I just narrowly escaped murderers. I'm not sure, but it could mean an omen. The first nightmare is pretty obscure by now ... I was stuck in a lift with a stranger which the dream-me recalls as a repeat murderer ... and also my maternal family was in the lift as well. The lift was large and spacious, and the walls were harshly bleached white, and there was dim lighting. Somehow there was a stack of buckets in the corner of the lift. My dream-me flashes back on reading a news article - the repeat murderer likes to instantly decapitate his victim's neck ... but he won't if the victim smeared his neck with sodium beforehand. Okay, for some reason, I was able to consciously command the dream-me to search the buckets for sodium (I don't even know what sodium is ... wait I think I remember) ... as with video game theory, "There's always a solution prepared ... just look for it." Then I see myself in a wooden lodge ... asking around ... just to found out that a whole ballroom of people have been enitrely decapitated single-handedly. Later I found a video tape containing one of the murder scenes. As the tape starts up, I woke up. I'm not sure how was it supposed to be scary as well ... I guess the reason has been buried deep inside my mind.

Next nightmare. I seem to be living in some western country. I have a bitchy (LGI.com supports liberal usage of words) older sister. Either she's my older sister, or she's a classmate/senior. Anyways, I was constantly bullied in the school I was in. Only when the end of the dream 
draws near do things start getting really bad. It was after a nighttime party. Prom or birthday party, I have no idea. Anyways, I stumbled into my sister/classmate at a park nearby with one of her girlfriends. We talked a bit until my sister/classmate's boyfriend showed up, and we talked more. Suddenly, I spotted someone sporting a chainsaw running out of a nearby building. The boyfriend ran away. The girls and dream-me rushed past chainsaw-dude towards the building he came from (for whatever reason, I am clueless). I got in first and locked the door. Outside my sister/classmate banged on the door - then she got hacked with the chainsaw from the back. I thought I was safe inside. I turned away from the door just to see the chainsaw-dude inside, his free hand dragging the girlfriend. I think he might have brought her in through a side entrance or something. Anyways I woke up at that point. I did see the murderer clearly though. He had dreadlocks as his choice of pompadour, and he was kinda tanned. He had a bare upper torso with ragged white trousers. A bit lean but muscular. It was horribly scary, that dream.

The third dream. The most surreal. The dream kicked off with me among a group of my year's boys heading to some hotel via a Japanese-style rock garden. I see Ms Elaine and another woman ... then for no obvious reason at all, I passed out. I woke up in a mall. Again without reason, dream-me started browsing massage chairs. I think he saw something, and he immediately started off towards the escalators, where I can see some of my grade school teachers. I think ... the hotel might be in the upper floors of the mall. I've been to the Jakarta Ritz-Carlton, and it's situated right with the Pacific Place mall, so it seems highly plausible. The most reasonable situation I can think of that I held a reunion party as adult Wilson. That must be the case. But the dream-me was smaller than I am now. The scene was disrupted with a transition to the hotel halls ... carpetted lavishly in red and gold. I was trying to reach the party venue while fleeing from a white-haired youth. He seemed intent on killing me, whatever his motive was. We both shared a conversation like we are assassins who worked together ... perhaps I angered him in some way. We are both capable of 'rooming' (I made up the term) - creating rooms on bare walls. I created closets and all to hide ... but he was always capable of finding me. In the end I created a really large public toilet with a royal design. I hid in one of the stalls. I can hear him opening the door to my Room. Strangely, I was able to see him ... he was eyeing the contents of the Room. I predicted that he would start checking the stalls, but he didn't. He went away later ... and dream-me was still too terrified to move out. Later, White-Hair came to the Room again, and said, "I'll let you off this time." Or something else along that line, yeah. Dream broadcast ends. Oh wait, before it ended, I saw Ms Elaine looking annoyed at me, with her assistant-role-playing-woman beside her. Beats me who the latter was.

Dreams ... are severely bizarre. Certain nightmares are more bizarre than it is scary. Like last time, I was in school when everyone started becoming berserk and committing 
mass suicide. There were lifts where the Music Room was supposed to be, and I managed to evacuate the school with Derrick and a few other people on a wooden transportation ... looked like a wheelbarrow with its size exaggerated. Cliffhanger ending, people. I never knew what befell the Dream counterparts of Wilson and Derrick. It was disturbing, at the very least. People were jumping down to the school garden head-first. Maybe it was a virus of some sort. Either that or the suicidals were on extreme doses of hallicinogen. I sometimes wish these things really do occur. I want that missing spark of life. 
The pumping adrenaline. Life is too boring. Too normal. I'd even prefer the plain Normal-type Pokemons over normal life. Oh wait, at least my life isn't too normal. It's too normally hectic. I hope that was understandable. Lots of problems, my life. But I wish they weren't so soap opera-ish. But even if they aren't, they're still PROBLEMS. I want something EXCITING. And problems 
have never came across me as exciting before. Ugh.

Exercise is going well! The other day I demanded a match in the midst of a really light drizzle for the extra terrain effect - raindrops that can dampen a shuttlecock's movement.Very fun. Street badminton was always fun. No rules. No restrictions. Just a wide road and a bumper 
serving as the border. Play badminton however you like. My style is a quirky mix of dance (fast with serving and maneuvers), baseball (power serve), volleyball (low receives, spiking and smash-cancelling) and kendo (middle, power receives). Street badminton is the sports version of Audition Online's Crazy Freestyle mode, if you ask me. My flaw is that I never really consider the direction in which I receive the shuttlecock - constantly causing it to fall into the drain or onto a roof. After awhile I got fed up with the endless shuttlecock
casualties, so I invented something new should it go dead again. Of course, this new program makes use of my partner, Chai Ming Xi (from now onwards I'm dubbing him Mynci in my blog, after the Neopet of the same name. And yes, he has a Mynci himself in Neopets.com). He has ride around on his bike while I will have to chase him down and touch him thrice with my racket. It proves to be good exercise! Today I managed to sprint up to his bike and finally smacked  (gently) him thrice - my first victory against him in Bike Stryker (I named the sport). A supportive friend is very good! If I was studying in his school I'd be more than glad to participate in badminton (doubles) since we have good compatibility. I still prefer single battles, of course, but I feel less secure, especially if in front of many (haha).

Ah! I'm only one tankobon short of The Law Of Ueki Plus! Anyone has Vol. 5?

Anticonformity

This love ... is so intensely hot and burning. This love ... for Persona 4. Atlus USA sent it to my home when I was still in Jakarta. Oh well, I am playing it now at least. My first few comments were mainly how horrible a lot of the voice-acting are. Especially Chie's. The VA is Tracey Rooney I guess. When she said "Oh my god!" in Junes, I nearly said that line myself. Another thing, one of my fav characters, Ryotaro, sounded too young. Like Akihiko from P3. That won't do, seriously.

Anyways, I was on quite a hiatus, wasn't I? I enjoyed my break. A lot. While being hampered by people to update. So I guess it's inevitable. So just what! What in the world did Wilson Liew do all this time!?

In Jakarta:
- Shopping (50%)
- Movies (40%)
- Sightseeing (10%)
- Yes, I hardly had any time for games ... Actually, a bit.

In Jakarta (revised):
- Shopping (Books) (20%)
- Shopping (Games) (20%)
- Shopping (Clothes) (10%)
- Movies (30%)
- Sightseeing (10%)
- Reading (5%)
- Gaming (5%)

At Home:
- Gaming (80%)
- Badminton (15%)
- Reading (5%)

I hope you find my brief explanation adequate to reason my absence with. I also took a lot of photos while in Jakarta ... around 400 + by estimation. Of course, it would
be ludicrous for me to be posting all of them. And ... my computer can detect my phone. That's a major problem. As to make matters worse, my father isn't too fond of me using his.

The axis of my post is Dawn's tag. I think it was originally dubbed 'Boys Like Bimboes' by her. Okay. To begin with, I have not the faintest idea what a bimbo is. Besides hearing it being used from time to time and being in the lyrics of Aqua's Barbie Girl. So, I only hypothesized my own definition. As usual, since dictionaries make me feel lazy. I muse that bimboes are ... bimboes. Judging by the name, it's a type of female that is stupid, dumb, stupid, cheerful, stupid, happy-go-lucky, stupid, and narcissistic (/edit). Tossing the cheerful and happy-go-lucky parts aside, the very character is bona fide-ly stupid. As I prefer to be more revolutionary than conventional, my version of the tag will be like 
a courtroom trial. In this case, I will play defense attorney, boys the defendants, Dawn the prosecutor, and her post the witness. Let's commence. (Note: Words in red are parts of the witness' testimony)

Crowd: *noise*

Judge Anonymous: Order! Order in the court! Ahem - On the defendant's side, we have Mr 
Wilson 'ILOVEPERSONA' Liew, the attorney defending boy. On the prosecutor's side, we have here the notorious Ms Dawn 'ILOVETWILIGHT' Jerah. Ms Dawn, your opening statement, please.

Dawn: Greetings, I am the notorious - I mean, famous, Dawn Jerah, Perfect Prosecutor. Boys in general had been accused of liking bimboes, and I would hereby try my best to net them a guilty verdict!

Judge A: Very well. May you call in your first witness, please.

Dawn: My first and only witness is Ms Dawn's Post, aka Miss DP, otherwise spelled Ms Deepee.

*Deepee enters courtroom*

Deepee: Hello, everyone! I'm Deepee and I -

Dawn: No one asked you to blabber, witness. State your name and occupation, please.

Deepee: Um, the name's Deepee, and my job's an obnoxious blog post which could possibly become a future running gag. I am here to testify as a witness and also as the one who had accused boys of their crime.

Dawn: Uh, your testimony, if you may.

Deepee: Oh, yes 'mam!

- Deepee's Testimony: Boys Like Bimboes (And I Will Accuse Every Boy) -

Bla bla bla ..... (refer to original post at Dawn's blog, dated 4th December, 2008)
... That's all I have to say.

- End of testimony -

Judge A: Mmhmm ... very well, Mr Liew, you may proceed with your cross-examination.

Wilson: Affirmative. Now let's see ... Miss Deepee said, "Why is it better if they are dumb? So the boys can feed their male ego. They can go all houlien, act cool just to feed their own self-esteem by proving themselves right (if they are really correct or not) to the girl. What a loser." I can point out one major contradiction here - neither the witness nor prosecution has proof ... that every boy feeds their 'male ego' that way! I ...

[Objection!]

Dawn: Th ... that ... well, hehe, hehehe, did you not realize, Mr Liew, that you yourself have no evidence that supports your claim that such a reserved group of boys exist!?

Wilson: Ack ...

Dawn: Let us move on. What do you have to say about the next line, "I think by acting cute, girls are not only demeaning themselves but the men they are surrounded by as well"?

Wilson: Uh, Ms Jerah, I find that line of testimony irrelevant to our current case!

Dawn: Hmph, what right do you have to deem it irrelevant!? Let's hear what the judge has to say!

Judge A: It is true, Mr Liew, that every word of a witness' testimony should NEVER be taken lightly. Your cross-examination, please.

Wilson: ((What!? He can't possibly buy that!)) Err ... fine. Ms Deepee ... you said you THINK that by acting cute, girls are not only demeaning themselves but the men they are surrounded by as well? Well, you thought that. Actually, demeaning may happen ... if the aforementioned girls overdo it. It is even normal in Japanese culture, in which girls sometimes speak in third person to give a cute impression. There are people who find the very act of acting cute itself cute! I also don't see how extremely narcissistic girls can demean others along with themselves. I mean, it is them who are acting cute. Not the men.

Deepee: Well, instead of bothering you two to recite my lines, I'll just nicely repeat it again. After all, as the witness myself, I may be more accurate. My next line was, "Men today deserve a lot more credit than that — I think I am right in saying that men appreciate an intelligent funny girl, someone they can have meaningful conversations with a lot more than a girl who 'sa jiaos' or whines or acts cute with nothing substantial to say."

[Hold It!]

Wilson: I mean to say that I agree. As a time-conscious person myself, I find it of no meaning to chit-chat with a whiny, narcissistic girl who babbles nonsense.

Boys: Um ... attorney?

Wilson: Relax, that line itself is in no way against our case. Instead, we're winning.

Dawn: Hmhmm ... you're losing points, Mr Liew.

[Objection!]

Wilson: Losing? My my, Ms Jerah ... do you not grasp the situation? My support in your witness' statement ... proved that boys are not keen of bimboes! And that you are hinting the very point that you accuse boys of preferring meaningless conversations over the opposite!

Dawn: ... Ah ... AHHH! You ... damn you ...

Crowd: *noise*

Judge A: Order! Order!!!

Deepee: Ahem ... "I find it very ridiculous to base a relationship on the mere fact that 'oh i like you, you like me, let's get together'. In the end you don't have anything in common, you don't have anything to talk about, you don't share any interests. Then? What do you talk about?"

[Hold It!]

Wilson: That ... that's preposterous! Even stupid bimboes won't be stupid enough to base a relationship on that, of all things! People will not form a bond should they be not compatible with each other, and in this modern age, people may still have break-ups and divorces, but to match up together in the first place when they don't have a single thing for each other is incomprehensible! Thus proving that boys will not go for bimboes!

Dawn: ... Ngh ... No way ...

Deepee: Um ... "For a girl to 'act cute' and/or act like a child just to get attention and be manja-ed is very degrading. I don't agree that all men appreciate an intelligent, funny girl as opposed to airheads. Oh okay, scratch that, I'm talking boys, not men."

[Hold It!]

Wilson: You serious? At most, one'd just see that as annoying. The part of acting like a child is actally one thing I am quite fond of ... they ACT like a child but who knows? They can be very mature inside. And one thing, you can't prove them as airheads. 

[Objection!]

Dawn: I believe you said that bimboes are stupid not long ago?

Wilson: Stupid, in the sense of not the same class as the intelligent.

Dawn: Yeah, right.

Deepee: ... the punchline of the conversation is that the boys refer and distinguish girls from the size of their boobs. Very sickening and degrading.

[Objection!]

Wilson: I do not agree. I for one think that a woman's values are not scaled by their breasts' size. And how in the world is that related to boys liking bimboes?

Judge A: Ms Jerah ... your witness' testimony seems to have brought this whole case to an end. I hereby deem ... boys WHOARELIKEWILSON ..... N-O-T G-U-I-L-T-Y! That's all, the court is adjourned.

- End of trial -

To sum things up, I think boys these days, especially those I know, are not really into bimboes. Of course, I can't really ascertain that, but for one thing, I know I will not be into bimboes. I may be okay with a bimbo best friend, but maybe not a bimbo girlfriend. Just my opinion. I am back to my blog yes, however updates will not be as frequent as it was before the holidays.

If I can't be a writer, I can always work for law. Ha. I wonder if the pay's high.

Happy Birthday To You

Today, on the 5th of December, is Chilli's birthday!

Wilson greets you "Happy 14th Birthday!", Chilli! Straight from Jakarta! And yeah, I ain't back yet. The undersized text box says, "Haaaaaa *cough* peeeeeee *cough* buuuuuuuuuurf *cough* daeeeeeeeeee *cough*" ... I'm not sick, so no need to worry. I haven't playing RE4 though. I've been getting a few new games days. Anyway, I apologize for not being attend your party today. Once again, happy birthday!

p. s.: Dawn, I will do the tag later. I'm quite busy (ah, the common excuse) currently. So, maybe, after I go back.

We Close Our Eyes

As a tribute to my loyal regulars, I'm salvaging a miniscule amount of time to give a semi-update ... or, uh, more like a preview as to what I did during my vacation.

I went to the Taman Safari Indonesia. 2nd time there actually. Of course, the real post isn't this short. I just must inform you all, that when elephants pee, it's like a high pressure jet stream, and when they crap, the crap is golden brown and about 3/4 the size of my head. Aside from that, I also watched tons of movies while I'm here. Last night was 007: Quantum of Solace.

Ekozu

This is my first time blogging outside Malaysia! I'm sorry I wasn't able to update the past two days ... I was just having way too much fun! It's an awesome thing that my father isn't here, however he kept phoning my mother and pestering us, since Friday morning even before I departed. On the way to Kuching International Airport, he was shouting in the car over and over concerning stupid things as if we are all toddlers. For your information, I do not mind worrywarts. But I hate extreme worrywarts who go beyond the boundaries of worrying, into scolding instead. While in airports, he kept calling my mother as if she is as free as him when he goes travelling alone to find hookers. She has to take care of three of us (my sister, my maid and me), unlike him who can just relax and drool at women in airports. I'll go back to this topic in a later post.

Awhmaigawd last night I went to the Taman Anggrek (literally, "Orchid Garden") Mall where I bought more than 20 tankobons, at the very least, and they're worth RM 135 (minimum) back in Malaysia. My favorite bookstore chain in Jakarta, Gramedia, never fails to disappoint. Just let me tell you the one most pivotal thing to me in bookstores: tankobons come in complete sets, right from the first volume to the latest one available. Well, shopping for books wasn't the only thing I did last night, but whatever. The main point I want to convey is that given the number of manga and games at hand (added with the urge to shop till I drop and sightsee), I doubt I'll have enough enough time to bother about my blog much. At least, I'm finally free from the pressure that I have always felt since I started blogging - the pressure that I have to update regularly. So, um, just check back, like, um, once every 2 days? Until I'm finally on Malaysian grounds, that is on the 12th of December. For non-gaming readers, be well-assured that your salvation has finally arrived. My father has officially stated that video games are banned next year, since the absolutely unimportant PMR will be taking place. It is also annoying in the sense that it forces teachers and students to overwork themselves. 1 good example is the girls' Home Economy subject teacher, Ms Diana, who gives extra classes without bonus salary. At least, that's what I think, and I can't ascertain my personal opinions 100%. Anyways, that means that I won't be posting so much about games. However, I will not stop myself from updating myself with gaming news, of course.

This is the end of this ... fairly short update, I suppose.

Moody Blues

Yare yare daze (literally, something along the lines of either "My oh my" or "What a bother") ... I am so busy, I don't have any time to blog tonight. Okay, here's the buzz - I am packing up and preparing for my vacation. Now if you all really one an update, just wish that I won't be feeling lazy tomorrow when I arrive at my aunt's in Jakarta. Or else. As to make this post to at least have a little bit of content, I will of course type something. I am playing JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Ougon no Kaze (Golden Wind/Vento Aureo) (JPN) and I'm stuck in that last battle in Pompeii (is this how you spell it?) - Pannacotta Fugo (Stand: Purple Haze) VS Illuso (Stand: Man in the Mirror) due to the annoying reversed controls and lack of my Stand powers when battling on Fugo's side, as Illuso separated Fugo and Purple Haze. Also, I think Illuso's fairly broken, what with his supersonic kinfe tosses and Stand clutches. Grr. I also got two new fighting games (turns out, my copy of Mortal Kombat: Deception is defected) - Soul Calibur III and Bloody Roar 4. The former kicks ass, and my fav character is Maxi, since he is swift with moves and deals many hits with combos. When it comes to girls, I like Talim, Tira and Taki, the 3Ts. Talim is fast with her Wind Maneuvers (and when it comes to fighters, I go for the speedy characters), Tira is good with aerial combos and Taki just pwns. Of course, my Maxi is the best. and ever since watching TMNT when I was a kid, I have been harboring a distinct affection towards nunchakus. Bloody Roar isn't as good, but it's pretty worthwhile playing. Or so I think. I like playing as Nagi the most, obviously since she's hawt, her voice acting is above average, and she shows no mercy with her really long combos. IMO, Stun and Ryoho&Mana are the worst characters to use, mainly because Stun's moving at a snail's pace even when running, and Ryoho can't transform into a Beast. Yes, I know that Mana can transform when the Beast button's pressed, but she's hardly helping. Thankfully Ryoho can juggle. A bit. Ah, playing fighting games is just perfect to refine my fingers and hands, especially with slide inputs in SCIII. I bought Need For Speed: Hot Pursuit 2 too (rhyme unintended), however it proved to be defective. Whatever. And yes, since it's the holidays, I think nearly every update will be tagged with 'games' instead of the usual 'school' ... that's for school days mostly.

Ciao!

Light Crossing Boder

This post will have separate emotions! So which one should I kick off with, the less serious stuff or the serious stuff? Hmm, personally, I'd go with the less serious stuff ... so let's start with that.

Yes, Jordan, Monster Lab is interestingly fun. I like the Tim Burton-esque overall design, and though the game tried to be corny, I actually didn't take it as lame. Monster Lab is an simulation/RPG/board game hybrid, and I can't say I don't love it. It's not truly addictive, however I find myself drawn to it. Basically, you collect ingredients (which are basically random materials) to create body parts, then assemble them up as you like to create a monster. Depending on the ingredients you use, the resulting product may be defective or enhanced with a special effect. Then you bring your monster to other places/dungeons where you move your monster in a board game-like fashion. By coming into contact with renegade monsters you can engage combat, and by finding things called Resource Locators you can commence a Challenge - a mini-game or sorts that can net you valuable ingredients should you succeed. Battles are simplistic, and sometimes too easy it may feel repetitive. Like in the PSX ARPG Vagrant Story, different attacks attack different body parts of the enemy. The main thing you must disable is the enemy's torso, but feel free to decapitate other parts to decrease the opponent's firepower. I currently have 2 monsters in hand, Sloth and Envy. I once had a Wrath, but I 
discarded it since it has too low an energy capacity. Yes, I name my monsters after the 7 Great Sins, and I'll make sure Pride is godlike. Sloth and Envy has different statistics - the former focuses on defense and capacity, while the latter has higher speed and health. They are equal in strength though. Graphics are just fine, while in terms of sound, I guess the developer, Eidos Interactive, did their best. However, I do not like Dr Fuseless' voice acting. Ugh. In terms of replayability, I guess you may want to replay with different monsters in your arsenal, but there's pretty much no bonuses. I'll give the game 3/5.

Edbert, Chilli and I were playing on MSN Messenger! We were continuously disconnecting then reconnecting with usernames like Your Father, Your Mother et cetera. I sparked the whole thing when I saw how Edbert put his username as 'has just signed in' ... then I tried to have fun with the names. Sadly Edbert had to stop since he got scolded for doing so ... poor thing. The chain effect was funny, but I did expect more people to join in, despite the whole thing being fairly lame. Talking about Chilli, I have a personal message for him and hopefully he reads this: You were attacked by Dr Salvador (the chainsaw guy) while in the Village right? I found a way to miss him entirely. From my research, it turns out that Dr Salvador will appear if you take the Shotgun from the two-storey house. However, this afternoon I took the Shotgun after the villagers retreated (after 
the church bell rang) and Dr Salvador didn't appear. Also, hopefully you have rescued the dog at the start of the game (before the Village) as it will help you out in a later boss fight (VS El Gigante). Damn, I am addicted to Resident Evil 4. Wait, since when is RE not addictive? Since new RPGs are scarce, I'm alternating to other genres for the time being, and you seriously have to love survival horror games.

Let's go on to the serious part now as there's only roughly 20 minutes till 11. I don't want others to think that I'm obsessedly trying to take up my idol as an adoptive father. So, I tried giving my father chances. Last night, I was about to take my bath when my mother insisted that she takes faster baths. So since I've shutted down my computer and I wouldn't want to be gaming for only 20 - 25 minutes, I grabbed my deck of Uno H2O (it's a limited waterproof edition with two special cards ... Wild Downpour & Wild Downpour +2 ... now you see that I go for anything water-themed?) and tried getting my maid to play with me, since it didn't seem like she's doing anything besides staring at the TV. I was in the middle of consecutively asking her when my father shouted, "Shut up, motherf***er!" in Hakka. Before that I actually asked him first to play with me but he preferred chatting with another woman instead of playing with me. Just now I was bored while waiting for my 7 p.m. soap opera to commence after a street badminton match (my shirt was drenched in perspiration), then I spotted my sister with my father on the wooden couch in the living room. So I thought that since my sister is there, maybe my father would stay to play? Instead, when I arrived, he immediately left to his computer for online gambling. I tried teaching my sis who's ailed with down syndrome how to play (it's pretty simple, Uno), but I failed. Last night since there wasn't anyone to play with and my sis was asleep, I resorted to playing against myself. Yeah, I know, it was a pathetic sight and my father still scoffed at me for doing so. Last night before I went to sleep, I just realized one thing after thinking thoroughly. Throughout my life, my father has provided me with the basic needs and minor wants, however, he has never played with me before. Yes, it struck me so deeply. I was like, "My father ... never played with me before? Not once?" the whole night. The thought was still lulling in my mind this morning. Then this afternoon I was standing in front of the fridge, tranced in thought. My father came along and strongly shoved me aside. I do not know whether I should keep letting him take advantage of me giving him chances. I once felt heartless to think badly about my own biological father. But now I think I'm going back on that opinion. I seriously ever felt stupid to think of Mr Willie as a father. But, uh, now, I dunno. I'm aghast. I play games, since you can play them alone. At times I may call my badminton mate over. I never feel bored during the holidays, but at the same time, I feel lonely. I don't have a brother or sister to talk to or play with. I know I ain't the only one 
with a sibling who's afflicted by down syndrome. However others have their parents to fill in the empty slot siblings should occupy. I am never bored in the holidays. Never. I talk to in-game characters without response. I have inner monologues all the time. I can always talk with the other Wilson. But somehow, it's lonely. It's so cold and chilly, my world. My father only has time for his work, his friends and women. He just finances my education so I can support him when he's old. He just uses my mother as a tool. He sometimes come back from travelling with gifts. But that's just it. All he ever shows us is money. I don't think I've ever felt anything else. I know I wouldn't be blogging here if he never existed, however I can't bring myself to feel the least bit of love for him as children should. I don't know. I don't like the mere sight of him, ever. He has never smiled before (serious). Even when others take his picture, he can only show a mean frown. I love my THINGS more than him. I love my games. I love my books. I love my computer. It's his money, of course. Other people feel indebted to their parents. I try to, but it's tough. I do feel indebted to my mother, nevertheless. There's never a family time with my father. If he brings us travelling, he goes off doing his own stuff, e. g. gambling in Genting. I want to play games with my father. I want to watch TV with my father. You can't imagine how many things I want to do with my father. I do so dream to have my own happy family. However, things would never be the same. At that time, the father is ME. Conclusion: I am fated to never really feel the presence of a father or his love. So what if I can provide my future family with love? In the end, there's still this emptiness in me. I can't just patch it up and forget it. I could possibly be jealous of my own children later. In my house, the system has always been like this: my father's the owner of the house, and everyone else are just tenants. We do our own things.  He got me my PS2. He got me my computer. He got me my crappy laptop. He got me my iPhone. He got me my bookshelves. I feel happy with the things, but I needed to strain myself to feel grateful. I know I sound like the bad guy here. But I guess that's just how it always is between my father and me. Just material attempts of bonding. Maybe I will miss him when he dies. A lot. But I don't think I will cry. He's him. 
I'm me. Always. I'll just miss the presence of him. I never mentioned my potential emotion. 
My childhood. Is desolate.

I'm not really sleepy but I don't want to feel tired when I wake up tomorrow. Goodbye. And yes, it's past 11. I'm not so quick a typist I can type all that under 20 minutes. Currently, my father is into yet another blast of verbal abuse.

Somewhere On Fullerton

Ara - I have less than one hour! And I was playing games during the day too! So, uh, why am I left with so little time? Because - after gaming, I watched TV for 1 hour (Like Father, Like Daughter), then I spent time on the Internet reading others' blogs and researching more on Resident Evil 4! It's such a kewl game, kuma! I've played it before on someone else's console (forgot whose) and now that I heard even Chilli's playing it, I am oh so hyped up to own my own copy of it too! I think I'll resume playing Monster Hunter after a 2-year long hiatus ... Daryl needs a navigator. It's after 11 ... actually I could've blogged more but suddenly my father wanted to use the Microsoft Excel on my computer and he took 30 minutes ... so, um, yeah ... after the "Daryl needs a navigator" my father was handling the computer. Anyhow, gotta run! This must be the shortest post ever ...

Run For Your Life

This post is more like a notice rather than an update. Okay, the main thing here is: I was in Kuching during the day to retrieve my new 8GB Kingston pendrive from Sharon which she purchased for only RM48 and also shop for games. I netted myself 6, but in the end I still fail to find Dokapon Kingdom (ENG). There is the JPN version in Crown Plaza but since the ENG version is supposed to be out for purchase already I don't see the point of playing the JPN one. Persona 4 was a wholly different case ... it was a long wait between July 10 and December 9, so duh, I'd play the JPN version first since I really can't wait anymore - Master LL and the others are already playing it before I bought it. FYI, Master LL is one of the most famous gamers on YouTube who upload their gameplay vids. Gotta love the lot for sharing - since some of the games are those I may never get to play anytime soon, e.g. Eternal Sonata or Tales Of Vesperia. Anyways, I have nearly nil time to blog! TAR's coming up in a few minutes even though I've already found out about the results - *SPOILERS* Terence & Sarah are finally out! *SPOILERS END*. And to compensate for no gaming during the day, I will be gaming tonight. And since the photo-uploading will consume a lot of time, I don't think I can make it. Well, for those lazy to read long posts, feel free to take my vacation in Jakarta as a breather since I'd most likely only be able to post short updates since I will use up most, if not all, of the daytime for shopping and having fun in theme parks et cetera. Oh yeah, I hate shopping for clothes, but I never really did specify, yes? Pants/Trousers/Jeans/Shoes are so irritating, but when it comes to shirts, it's easy. Today I got two new shirts, courtesy of Esprit ... well, I never thought I would be buying shirts, but my sister bugged my mother to go to The Spring ... so yeah, at least I ain't buying books this time. Actually I still have quite a lot of books from MPH which are yet to be finished. About the shirts, one is white, the other black with shades of pink (...) and gray. I prefer the former for its sketchy design (me likey!). I also saw a few of those really old farts at Mango. They either do cross-dressing as a hobby or have wives who follow their tastes. IMO women prefer to shop for clothes with other women instead of men. Hmm ... interesting. My mother said they are buying clothes for their mistresses. Possible. A strategist never ignores any possibility unless given evidence that it is impossible to occur. All my sister wanted was a meal at Sushi King really, though I pressed on going to Food & Tea since it's more economical and I am taking a break from Japanese food. Anyway it seems the menu has been updated again with new food. I tried the Egg-Mayo. It has a miniscule amount of roe on it, and I guess that's okay ... too much roe bugs me sometimes. It's quite tasty ... I think it will become another one of my faves. The croquette's been there since opening day, but this is the first time it's actually in stock, so obviously I ordered it. It's quite good, but if only there's ketchup, it would be better. Sadly there's only wasabi and soy sauce available. I tried the Oyako-don (IIRC) which was AWFUL. Do NOT, I repeat, DO NOT even think about trying it. In case you will be going to Sushi King in the future, thank me for being your voluntary lab rat.

What games did I buy? Well ... um ... let's start with the three games I am greatly anticipating to try out:

Resident Evil 4
Monster Lab
Yakuza (yes, I actually played the sequel first)

I saw a bunch of sleazy boys looking at both of the Yakuza games at Crown Plaza. They were like, "What's so great about this? Got tattoo only nia." Oh my, that must be my first line of broken English in my blog. Anyway, I can't stand these lousy low-rate gamers who just diss a game without knowing anything. Okay, even if the game is bad, realistically 
speaking, I doubt those jerks would actually get themselves a tattoo as elaborate as Kazuma's (the box art shows his back's elaborate tattoo). Hmm. The other half of the games I bought are merely for multiplayer purposes:
Sonic Riders: Zero Gravity
Mortal Kombat: Deception
Need For Speed: Most Wanted
Oh my, Most Wanted is my first NFS game, and I rarely play racing games, so pitch in any tips if you can! I just hope my buddy will like it. I have nearly no interest in it ... but whatever, I'll give it a try. These days we've started on One Piece: Grand Adventure again ... thankfully our skills didn't deteriorate much. We played Tournament Mode 3 times ... with me being reigning champion. I still remember the finals!
1st Tourney: Mihawk (Me) VS Shanks (Him)
2nd Tourney: Kuina (Me) VS Usopp (CPU) (My friend's Chopper was beaten by this Usopp)
3rd Tourney: Ace (Me and I won't use the ENG dub's name for Ace) VS Zoro (Him and I won't use Zoro's ENG dub name either)
OP: GA is my favorite anime-based fighting game. It's just awesome. Wait, since when is anything not connected to One Piece ISN'T awesome? According to the recent Oricon charts on manga, the highest rated manga is One Piece, not Naruto. Naruto isn't even in the Top 10. That's reality. Naruto is rubbish. But at the same time, my beloved JJBA isn't on the list either! Well, at least it doesn't mean that it's worse than Naruto. Phew.

p. s. My flight has been altered from the 20th to the 21st!

Debate Magician

About 2 weeks ago, I burned yet another music CD. I put the songs in my thumbdrive and brought it too school. It got mixed responses! Tracks, in order:

[#1] Aretha Franklin - Mr Big Stuff
[#2] Black Kids - Listen To Your Body Tonight
[#3] Britney Spears - Piece Of Me
[#4] Cat Power - Willie
[#5] David Archuleta - Crush
[#6] DJ Tiesto - Insomnia
[#7] Jack Johnson - Better Together
[#8] Kate Nash - Pumpkin Soup
[#9] Katy Perry - Hot N Cold
[#10] Mariah Carey - Touch My Body
[#11] Rilo Kiley - Breakin' Up
[#12] Rilo Kiley - Bulletproof
[#13] Rilo Kiley - Dreamworld
[#14] Rilo Kiley - Silver Lining
[#15] Rilo Kiley - Under The Blacklight
[#16] Sara Bareilles - Love Song
[#17] The Ting Tings - Great DJ
[#18] The Ting Tings - Shut Up And Let Me Go
[#19] The Ting Tings - That's Not My Name

In my thumbdrive I have extra 3 songs to boot:

[#20] Estrella - Stay
[#21] Tommy February6 - Lonely In Gorgeous
[#22] Westlife - Flying Without Wings (obtained from Agnes during Computer Class)

I excluded #1 from the thumbdrive lot as it isn't very nice IMO after listening a few times. No one made comments about #2, they don't even bother to finish listening to it. I admit the starting was a bit cheesy, but the part when the song really shines is during the "Alright Hello?" part near the end. I like #3 ... I mean, who doesn't? #4 is really tough to sing along, so I tend to skip it. Not going to comment on #5, I think people are too crazy over it. It's okay at first, but is the fastest to lose its appeal. #6 is just cool. Jack and a few other boys like #7. Nadia likes #8. Phil is nuts with #9. Vincent sings along to #10 with me. My mother likes #13 and #17 best. Kyc and I love #14. #16 is the one I crave to sing the most, and the only one Agnes showed interest in. Nadia, Dawn, Brandon and I are Ting Tings fans, so we like #17, #18 and #19. Jessy and a boy (I think it was Michael) clearly showed their dislike for #19 though. Everyone likes #20 (or so I think). Michael and Sharon picked #21, which is Paradise Kiss' opening theme actually. #22 is nice listening to. Those not mentioned are not mentioned by anyone at all. Overall, I rate this CD 4/5. This paragraph is dedicated to music, so let me start on the movie Mamma Mia's soundtrack. I think the songs are lovely, even those sang by the men as they're unique in a way. Out of the guys, I think Dominic Cooper sings best, while Colin Firth's worst (according to critics Pierce Brosnan's worst, but I just happen to despise Firth's singing more). Stellan Skarsgard isn't bad, but Cooper just aced the guys. For the girls, Amanda Seyfried was quite high-pitched most of the time, but Meryl Streep was just flawless. The movie itself isn't bad, but sadly I didn't finish watching it. Ooh, we are moving onto movies! The last movie we watched at school was Freaky Friday, which gratefully was finished since we watched it for 3 periods instead of the usual 2. Only after listening to Simple Plan's Happy Together from the movie did I realize that Romancing Saga: Minstrel Song's main theme is based on the song's tune, just softened! I prefer RS: MS's version though, it's more enchanting and Simple Plan pitched in too many unnecessary strums.

Did you know? The whole day I've been planning to make this one update to contain photos. Pictures date back to Lions' Nursing Home food sale (or maybe older) till the last school day. Sadly, it's 11. Maybe tomorrow. Hopefully I start blogging early.

I am so obsessed with Namco X Capcom. JPN games pwn, 'nuff said.

p.s. If you are scared of teachers reading your blogs, I suggest using smaller font sizes as most of them needs to squint at their age. But be prepared to make your blog seem more lacking in content, though it isn't in reality.

Even A Dog Wouldn't Eat This

I could've blogged more last night but a blackout occured at about 12 midnight. I think the last thing I typed about was concerning swimming. Oh yeah, the blister on my toe. I think my toe hit the tiles on the poolside several times as I jumped into water. Either that inflicted the blister or me climbing up to the poolside, which takes quite a lot of effort since I'm heavy. Swimming was a painful ordeal last night, and thankfully it's the last for this entire year. Next year, I'm finally having 1-hour classes instead of the usual 2-hour, since I'll be having a Maths tuition directly after it next year. Damn, I really dislike going to Maths tuition. It's so quiet since the students alienate themselves from each other, and Maths is such a dull subject I usually end up asleep, forcing me to take a Red Bull or a Livita before tuition. I really don't see how I would have the strength to go to tuition after the strainous swimming class next year. Blame the tuition teacher, who intends to switch the class from Wednesday to Friday. Ugh. Do I still have to take Maths tuition after 9th grade? Hopefully not, as that'll really wear me down.

Yesterday I went for a shopping craze before swimming. After school ended, I had to wait 1 hour for my car to arrive, but thankfully there was Jack and William to play the 2-player game, Table Tennis For 2 on my iPhone with me. It was fun, applying the concept of gravity into table tennis! However both of them left 
earlier than me, but thankfully the wait after that wasn't too long. I guess. After changing with the clothes my mother brought, I went to The Spring. I needed to shop for a pair of sports shoes and
trousers, self-help books and James' dad's jacket. I tried out Parkson and Nike for the sports equipment. Found none. Ah, I guess I'l just use my school shoes, and later on my mum told me she has called my father over in Hong Kong to get me the trousers, which he accomplished. Okay, he bought me something I want. So what, it won't be enough to redeem himself.  I checked out MPH for the self-help books ... I was actually looking for just two, one to 
build charisma and another to build fitness. While browsing the sea of books I met Jesmond-kun from 2D and Eon-chan from 2B. Am I fated to only stumble into aliens (as in people I don't know), instead of those I know or want to meet? After looking through a lot of books (by that, I mean seriously lots of them) in both 
BM and English, I finally found the book Fitness For Men. Actually I found another book earlier than that one, which is one similar to building charisma ... it is to help people understand and overcome their phobias. How my brain perceived the entire thing: Overcome phobias = more courageous = more charisma. I haven't really overcome any of my many phobias yet, but I did do diving without hesitation later that day. I guess it was the cause of my two main motivations *cough * Willie and QQ *cough *. Partly for myself, duh. After that I went to F.O.S. to look for the jacket as James 
himself recommended. That was the first time I've been there, and wow, for once, I enjoy shopping for clothes. There, everything came moderately cheap and doesn't fall into the LQ category. I think I 'll buy jackets from there starting now onwards. I really wanted the jacket I bought for James' dad. It was big! Comfortable! Cozy! Classy! Casual! Soft! It's a white Nautica jacket ... from what I felt I think the fabric's either wool or cotton. I really want a wool sweater like Ken's which is plain with cream and orange dabs. But then again my body's too big to look like Ken's lean-cut figure. Wait, he IS just an 8-years-old kid. Isn't he? Correct me if I'm wrong, Eugene. Ken joining SEES was way back then, in December '07. And I think that was the only time his age was mentioned. Or so I think. I went to Food & Tea for lunch though my mother insisted on the food court. I don't really like the food court - it's noisy, crowded and unpractical IMO. On my way to the avant garde kopitiam, I saw Danielle Basiuk-senpai on her phone. I just hurriedly walk past. Talking about her, there was a scene concerning her dad which Sharon and I poked fun at. During the assembly in the morning, when Ms Vivian (is it Vivian?) called out for Ms Anne to give out the prizes to the primary kids, she was still on her couch with her right leg on top of the other like some S&M queen flirting with the married man beside her (as Sharon said, which I agreed), Mr Robert Wayne Basiuk. That was the first time my Hawkeyes didn't recognise a person, it was Sharon who told me that it WAS Mr Basiuk. So basically, Ms Anne was some whore who needed people to summon her several times on MICROPHONE to actually respond, possibly because Ms Vivian is a teacher and the former looks down on the latter and prefers to spend more time with a Eurasian (correct me if I'm wrong) stud. Either that or she was attacked by MiuMiu's (Miulla Miuchar in full) Stand, Jailhouse Rock which can make people
only able to remember 3 things at a time, rendering Ms Anne to forget her own name. Then again, her sense of hearing may have been severely rusted. Aww, that's so sad. That's enough for the usual side-subject. I really like Food & Tea's plethora of food. I had diced chicken in creamy mayonaise 
(it's the only unhealthy food I can't stop myself from eating) with rice ... that dish came with free soup and dessert. But I still ordered ala carte dessert - Mango & Yam Tong Sui (literally, "Sugar Water"). The mango part wasn't very good. Next time I better just have the Yam one, though it's pricier. I had a fruit cocktail as my drink - it's called Purple Rain, and IMO I think it's either blackcurrant or grape. This time round, I spent less than the previous experience. I think it was only RM30 this time instead of RM32. Anyhow, Dawn's group spent more, around RM90 IIRC. But her group does have more people. After The Spring was Tun Jugah time! I obviously sped for Hong Kuok 99 
(games! GAMES!!!) while my mother went to a boutique directly underneath the game store (Sui Sian ... "Water Fairy/Deity/Whatever"). The 2B group was there, but I only remember Joshua and Kolly among them. I bought 4 games: Namco X Capcom (JPN), JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Phantom Blood (JPN), Wild Arms: Alter Code F and a party game based on Shrek. Also, I've got SILENT HILL 2. HarharharharharharhartakethatJordanTeng ... *chokes * * cough * ... I think one of the 2B boys bought a PSP game. There was SMT: Raidou Kuzunoha VS Abaddon Tai-Ou (JPN) already but I didn't purchase it due to the crappy cover, even though I am now ok with JPN games. Today since I can game already, the two JPN games I bought were way stellar compared to the English two which were quite lame (okay, not WA: ACF). WA: ACF just felt repetitive and the graphics were clunky. I wanted to get RE4 this time. Unfortunately, the shop's out of RE4. I even read many guides about the game the night before. Never mind, I'll just try out other stores. I can't find Dokapon Kingdom and Monster Lab, despite the fact that they are supposed to be released more than a month ago. Namco X Capcom was fast-paced and engaging, while JJBA: PB was just being JJBA and it provided tons of fan-service! My love for JJBA is as deep as the girls' craving for Twilight. IMHO Twilight is fairly normal and isn't worth the overrating, no offence to the worshippers. Or maybe it's just me being a boy. Wait, it could be that part of me who isn't really fond of teen romance ... I go for the daddy-mommy romances. At Tun Jugah while texting I also saw 4 boys from assorted classes ... I only remember Kyc and Vernon. Concerning Hong Kuok 99, there was a new staff I haven't seen before yesterday. He kept wheezing and sniffing I really disliked standing there while browsing games. After I've confirmed the games, he just fanned out the games on the counter. I was O_O for a while, then he asked me if I need a plastic to which I answered yes. He took out a small plastic bag and slapped it on the counter. I tried to 'inflate' it but before I was done, the cashier which was one I know and commonly chatted with, finally asked the new guy why he didn't put the games in for me. Seriously, that's one horrible worker. Where's the staff supervisor? Where's the guy's common sense? After TJ was Hock Lee where I finally caught up with Dawn's crew. But rather than being with them I went for the arcade alone. It was fun, but later I realized I was late for class. Oops. Only after swimming did I deliver the jacket to James' house. Wow ... it's huge. The house, not the jacket.

Operation SNANTI is currently progressing smoothly. Gotta resume on my book now before it's 11.