Blawgh

No matter how pure you may be ... face it, there's darkness in your heart. Before it consumes you, be darkness itself.

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Taking Pride From Fear

I've been having repeated nightmares lately. They pose as useful alarm clocks though, if you see nightmares the other way round. The only thing worrying me this time is the fact that in all 3 nightmares a few days ago, I just narrowly escaped murderers. I'm not sure, but it could mean an omen. The first nightmare is pretty obscure by now ... I was stuck in a lift with a stranger which the dream-me recalls as a repeat murderer ... and also my maternal family was in the lift as well. The lift was large and spacious, and the walls were harshly bleached white, and there was dim lighting. Somehow there was a stack of buckets in the corner of the lift. My dream-me flashes back on reading a news article - the repeat murderer likes to instantly decapitate his victim's neck ... but he won't if the victim smeared his neck with sodium beforehand. Okay, for some reason, I was able to consciously command the dream-me to search the buckets for sodium (I don't even know what sodium is ... wait I think I remember) ... as with video game theory, "There's always a solution prepared ... just look for it." Then I see myself in a wooden lodge ... asking around ... just to found out that a whole ballroom of people have been enitrely decapitated single-handedly. Later I found a video tape containing one of the murder scenes. As the tape starts up, I woke up. I'm not sure how was it supposed to be scary as well ... I guess the reason has been buried deep inside my mind.

Next nightmare. I seem to be living in some western country. I have a bitchy (LGI.com supports liberal usage of words) older sister. Either she's my older sister, or she's a classmate/senior. Anyways, I was constantly bullied in the school I was in. Only when the end of the dream 
draws near do things start getting really bad. It was after a nighttime party. Prom or birthday party, I have no idea. Anyways, I stumbled into my sister/classmate at a park nearby with one of her girlfriends. We talked a bit until my sister/classmate's boyfriend showed up, and we talked more. Suddenly, I spotted someone sporting a chainsaw running out of a nearby building. The boyfriend ran away. The girls and dream-me rushed past chainsaw-dude towards the building he came from (for whatever reason, I am clueless). I got in first and locked the door. Outside my sister/classmate banged on the door - then she got hacked with the chainsaw from the back. I thought I was safe inside. I turned away from the door just to see the chainsaw-dude inside, his free hand dragging the girlfriend. I think he might have brought her in through a side entrance or something. Anyways I woke up at that point. I did see the murderer clearly though. He had dreadlocks as his choice of pompadour, and he was kinda tanned. He had a bare upper torso with ragged white trousers. A bit lean but muscular. It was horribly scary, that dream.

The third dream. The most surreal. The dream kicked off with me among a group of my year's boys heading to some hotel via a Japanese-style rock garden. I see Ms Elaine and another woman ... then for no obvious reason at all, I passed out. I woke up in a mall. Again without reason, dream-me started browsing massage chairs. I think he saw something, and he immediately started off towards the escalators, where I can see some of my grade school teachers. I think ... the hotel might be in the upper floors of the mall. I've been to the Jakarta Ritz-Carlton, and it's situated right with the Pacific Place mall, so it seems highly plausible. The most reasonable situation I can think of that I held a reunion party as adult Wilson. That must be the case. But the dream-me was smaller than I am now. The scene was disrupted with a transition to the hotel halls ... carpetted lavishly in red and gold. I was trying to reach the party venue while fleeing from a white-haired youth. He seemed intent on killing me, whatever his motive was. We both shared a conversation like we are assassins who worked together ... perhaps I angered him in some way. We are both capable of 'rooming' (I made up the term) - creating rooms on bare walls. I created closets and all to hide ... but he was always capable of finding me. In the end I created a really large public toilet with a royal design. I hid in one of the stalls. I can hear him opening the door to my Room. Strangely, I was able to see him ... he was eyeing the contents of the Room. I predicted that he would start checking the stalls, but he didn't. He went away later ... and dream-me was still too terrified to move out. Later, White-Hair came to the Room again, and said, "I'll let you off this time." Or something else along that line, yeah. Dream broadcast ends. Oh wait, before it ended, I saw Ms Elaine looking annoyed at me, with her assistant-role-playing-woman beside her. Beats me who the latter was.

Dreams ... are severely bizarre. Certain nightmares are more bizarre than it is scary. Like last time, I was in school when everyone started becoming berserk and committing 
mass suicide. There were lifts where the Music Room was supposed to be, and I managed to evacuate the school with Derrick and a few other people on a wooden transportation ... looked like a wheelbarrow with its size exaggerated. Cliffhanger ending, people. I never knew what befell the Dream counterparts of Wilson and Derrick. It was disturbing, at the very least. People were jumping down to the school garden head-first. Maybe it was a virus of some sort. Either that or the suicidals were on extreme doses of hallicinogen. I sometimes wish these things really do occur. I want that missing spark of life. 
The pumping adrenaline. Life is too boring. Too normal. I'd even prefer the plain Normal-type Pokemons over normal life. Oh wait, at least my life isn't too normal. It's too normally hectic. I hope that was understandable. Lots of problems, my life. But I wish they weren't so soap opera-ish. But even if they aren't, they're still PROBLEMS. I want something EXCITING. And problems 
have never came across me as exciting before. Ugh.

Exercise is going well! The other day I demanded a match in the midst of a really light drizzle for the extra terrain effect - raindrops that can dampen a shuttlecock's movement.Very fun. Street badminton was always fun. No rules. No restrictions. Just a wide road and a bumper 
serving as the border. Play badminton however you like. My style is a quirky mix of dance (fast with serving and maneuvers), baseball (power serve), volleyball (low receives, spiking and smash-cancelling) and kendo (middle, power receives). Street badminton is the sports version of Audition Online's Crazy Freestyle mode, if you ask me. My flaw is that I never really consider the direction in which I receive the shuttlecock - constantly causing it to fall into the drain or onto a roof. After awhile I got fed up with the endless shuttlecock
casualties, so I invented something new should it go dead again. Of course, this new program makes use of my partner, Chai Ming Xi (from now onwards I'm dubbing him Mynci in my blog, after the Neopet of the same name. And yes, he has a Mynci himself in Neopets.com). He has ride around on his bike while I will have to chase him down and touch him thrice with my racket. It proves to be good exercise! Today I managed to sprint up to his bike and finally smacked  (gently) him thrice - my first victory against him in Bike Stryker (I named the sport). A supportive friend is very good! If I was studying in his school I'd be more than glad to participate in badminton (doubles) since we have good compatibility. I still prefer single battles, of course, but I feel less secure, especially if in front of many (haha).

Ah! I'm only one tankobon short of The Law Of Ueki Plus! Anyone has Vol. 5?

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Anticonformity

This love ... is so intensely hot and burning. This love ... for Persona 4. Atlus USA sent it to my home when I was still in Jakarta. Oh well, I am playing it now at least. My first few comments were mainly how horrible a lot of the voice-acting are. Especially Chie's. The VA is Tracey Rooney I guess. When she said "Oh my god!" in Junes, I nearly said that line myself. Another thing, one of my fav characters, Ryotaro, sounded too young. Like Akihiko from P3. That won't do, seriously.

Anyways, I was on quite a hiatus, wasn't I? I enjoyed my break. A lot. While being hampered by people to update. So I guess it's inevitable. So just what! What in the world did Wilson Liew do all this time!?

In Jakarta:
- Shopping (50%)
- Movies (40%)
- Sightseeing (10%)
- Yes, I hardly had any time for games ... Actually, a bit.

In Jakarta (revised):
- Shopping (Books) (20%)
- Shopping (Games) (20%)
- Shopping (Clothes) (10%)
- Movies (30%)
- Sightseeing (10%)
- Reading (5%)
- Gaming (5%)

At Home:
- Gaming (80%)
- Badminton (15%)
- Reading (5%)

I hope you find my brief explanation adequate to reason my absence with. I also took a lot of photos while in Jakarta ... around 400 + by estimation. Of course, it would
be ludicrous for me to be posting all of them. And ... my computer can detect my phone. That's a major problem. As to make matters worse, my father isn't too fond of me using his.

The axis of my post is Dawn's tag. I think it was originally dubbed 'Boys Like Bimboes' by her. Okay. To begin with, I have not the faintest idea what a bimbo is. Besides hearing it being used from time to time and being in the lyrics of Aqua's Barbie Girl. So, I only hypothesized my own definition. As usual, since dictionaries make me feel lazy. I muse that bimboes are ... bimboes. Judging by the name, it's a type of female that is stupid, dumb, stupid, cheerful, stupid, happy-go-lucky, stupid, and narcissistic (/edit). Tossing the cheerful and happy-go-lucky parts aside, the very character is bona fide-ly stupid. As I prefer to be more revolutionary than conventional, my version of the tag will be like 
a courtroom trial. In this case, I will play defense attorney, boys the defendants, Dawn the prosecutor, and her post the witness. Let's commence. (Note: Words in red are parts of the witness' testimony)

Crowd: *noise*

Judge Anonymous: Order! Order in the court! Ahem - On the defendant's side, we have Mr 
Wilson 'ILOVEPERSONA' Liew, the attorney defending boy. On the prosecutor's side, we have here the notorious Ms Dawn 'ILOVETWILIGHT' Jerah. Ms Dawn, your opening statement, please.

Dawn: Greetings, I am the notorious - I mean, famous, Dawn Jerah, Perfect Prosecutor. Boys in general had been accused of liking bimboes, and I would hereby try my best to net them a guilty verdict!

Judge A: Very well. May you call in your first witness, please.

Dawn: My first and only witness is Ms Dawn's Post, aka Miss DP, otherwise spelled Ms Deepee.

*Deepee enters courtroom*

Deepee: Hello, everyone! I'm Deepee and I -

Dawn: No one asked you to blabber, witness. State your name and occupation, please.

Deepee: Um, the name's Deepee, and my job's an obnoxious blog post which could possibly become a future running gag. I am here to testify as a witness and also as the one who had accused boys of their crime.

Dawn: Uh, your testimony, if you may.

Deepee: Oh, yes 'mam!

- Deepee's Testimony: Boys Like Bimboes (And I Will Accuse Every Boy) -

Bla bla bla ..... (refer to original post at Dawn's blog, dated 4th December, 2008)
... That's all I have to say.

- End of testimony -

Judge A: Mmhmm ... very well, Mr Liew, you may proceed with your cross-examination.

Wilson: Affirmative. Now let's see ... Miss Deepee said, "
Why is it better if they are dumb? So the boys can feed their male ego. They can go all houlien, act cool just to feed their own self-esteem by proving themselves right (if they are really correct or not) to the girl. What a loser." I can point out one major contradiction here - neither the witness nor prosecution has proof ... that every boy feeds their 'male ego' that way! I ...

[Objection!]

Dawn: Th ... that ... well, hehe, hehehe, did you not realize, Mr Liew, that you yourself have no evidence that supports your claim that such a reserved group of boys exist!?

Wilson: Ack ...

Dawn: Let us move on. What do you have to say about the next line, "
I think by acting cute, girls are not only demeaning themselves but the men they are surrounded by as well"?

Wilson: Uh, Ms Jerah, I find that line of testimony irrelevant to our current case!

Dawn: Hmph, what right do you have to deem it irrelevant!? Let's hear what the judge has to say!

Judge A: It is true, Mr Liew, that every word of a witness' testimony should NEVER be taken lightly. Your cross-examination, please.

Wilson: ((What!? He can't possibly buy that!)) Err ... fine. Ms Deepee ... you said you THINK that by acting cute, girls are not only demeaning themselves but the men they are surrounded by as well? Well, you thought that. Actually, demeaning may happen ... if the aforementioned girls overdo it. It is even normal in Japanese culture, in which girls sometimes speak in third person to give a cute impression. There are people who find the very act of acting cute itself cute! I also don't see how extremely narcissistic girls can demean others along with themselves. I mean, it is them who are acting cute. Not the men.

Deepee: Well, instead of bothering you two to recite my lines, I'll just nicely repeat it again. After all, as the witness myself, I may be more accurate. My next line was, "
Men today deserve a lot more credit than that — I think I am right in saying that men appreciate an intelligent funny girl, someone they can have meaningful conversations with a lot more than a girl who 'sa jiaos' or whines or acts cute with nothing substantial to say."

[Hold It!]

Wilson: I mean to say that I agree. As a time-conscious person myself, I find it of no meaning to chit-chat with a whiny, narcissistic girl who babbles nonsense.

Boys: Um ... attorney?

Wilson: Relax, that line itself is in no way against our case. Instead, we're winning.

Dawn: Hmhmm ... you're losing points, Mr Liew.

[Objection!]

Wilson: Losing? My my, Ms Jerah ... do you not grasp the situation? My support in your witness' statement ... proved that boys are not keen of bimboes! And that you are hinting the very point that you accuse boys of preferring meaningless conversations over the opposite!

Dawn: ... Ah ... AHHH! You ... damn you ...

Crowd: *noise*

Judge A: Order! Order!!!

Deepee: Ahem ... "
I find it very ridiculous to base a relationship on the mere fact that 'oh i like you, you like me, let's get together'. In the end you don't have anything in common, you don't have anything to talk about, you don't share any interests. Then? What do you talk about?"

[Hold It!]

Wilson: That ... that's preposterous! Even stupid bimboes won't be stupid enough to base a relationship on that, of all things! People will not form a bond should they be not compatible with each other, and in this modern age, people may still have break-ups and divorces, but to match up together in the first place when they don't have a single thing for each other is incomprehensible! Thus proving that boys will not go for bimboes!

Dawn: ... Ngh ... No way ...

Deepee: Um ... "
For a girl to 'act cute' and/or act like a child just to get attention and be manja-ed is very degrading. I don't agree that all men appreciate an intelligent, funny girl as opposed to airheads. Oh okay, scratch that, I'm talking boys, not men."

[Hold It!]

Wilson: You serious? At most, one'd just see that as annoying. The part of acting like a child is actally one thing I am quite fond of ... they ACT like a child but who knows? They can be very mature inside. And one thing, you can't prove them as airheads. 

[Objection!]

Dawn: I believe you said that bimboes are stupid not long ago?

Wilson: Stupid, in the sense of not the same class as the intelligent.

Dawn: Yeah, right.

Deepee:
... the punchline of the conversation is that the boys refer and distinguish girls from the size of their boobs. Very sickening and degrading.

[Objection!]

Wilson: I do not agree. I for one think that a woman's values are not scaled by their breasts' size. And how in the world is that related to boys liking bimboes?

Judge A: Ms Jerah ... your witness' testimony seems to have brought this whole case to an end. I hereby deem ... boys WHOARELIKEWILSON ..... N-O-T G-U-I-L-T-Y! That's all, the court is adjourned.

- End of trial -

To sum things up, I think boys these days, especially those I know, are not really into bimboes. Of course, I can't really ascertain that, but for one thing, I know I will not be into bimboes. I may be okay with a bimbo best friend, but maybe not a bimbo girlfriend. Just my opinion. I am back to my blog yes, however updates will not be as frequent as it was before the holidays.

If I can't be a writer, I can always work for law. Ha. I wonder if the pay's high.

Friday, December 5, 2008

Happy Birthday To You

Today, on the 5th of December, is Chilli's birthday!


Wilson greets you "Happy 14th Birthday!", Chilli! Straight from Jakarta! And yeah, I ain't back yet. The undersized text box says, "Haaaaaa *cough* peeeeeee *cough* buuuuuuuuuurf *cough* daeeeeeeeeee *cough*" ... I'm not sick, so no need to worry. I haven't playing RE4 though. I've been getting a few new games days. Anyway, I apologize for not being attend your party today. Once again, happy birthday!

p. s.: Dawn, I will do the tag later. I'm quite busy (ah, the common excuse) currently. So, maybe, after I go back.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

We Close Our Eyes

As a tribute to my loyal regulars, I'm salvaging a miniscule amount of time to give a semi-update ... or, uh, more like a preview as to what I did during my vacation.

I went to the Taman Safari Indonesia. 2nd time there actually. Of course, the real post isn't this short. I just must inform you all, that when elephants pee, it's like a high pressure jet stream, and when they crap, the crap is golden brown and about 3/4 the size of my head. Aside from that, I also watched tons of movies while I'm here. Last night was 007: Quantum of Solace.