Borderline Of Madness
Gah - school. Horrible day, I must admit. First things off, I mustered up the courage to greet a total stranger, just to receive cold shoulders in return. Hey, what's the deal? Oh, sure, I'm not cool enough to greet you, or something. Whatever, have it your way, and please don't hope me to be too friendly later in the year.
I tried to think of school as something fun. I even stayed behind in the canteen to chat even when I've finished my lunch. In return, a bunch of lowlives spilled sauce on me. Oh, great. Yeah, so I'm supposed to hold in everything, dipshits? All you can do is hand me a pack of tissues. Oh well, I never expect them to wash my clothes.
Lowlives will never understand because they are self-centered selfish brats who have washing machines. I can't get the stains off. Well, the lowlives are too rich for their own good they won't buy you back another set of uniform, so never expect compensation from the low and filthy. To add insult to injury, one of the lowlives managed to LAUGH, deary me! Oh my, isn't that funny? Well, it's as Naoki Konishi said - strangers'll be strangers. They'd be dying to see bad stuff
happen. Only in this sense it should be 'lowlives'll be lowlives'.
I know I don't sound like how I usually do ... but! I am a shadow! The true self! And I know I just quoted that! But I'm just being true to myself ...
I'm sick of being some stress ball or an anger-absorbent thing. I'm tired of trying to be so nice when I'm being treated like shit. Persona 4's liberal in speech, why shouldn't I? Stop freakin' take advantage of me! What!?
Am I supposed to have limitless patience that I will never burst!? Well sorry, 'cos I ain't as great as you all suckers imagined! I'm also fed up with all my efforts underappreciated! The teacher asked something, so I
answered because you all airheads don't know the answer! But just because I don't shout the answer, you can steal away my credit like it was nothing. And the deaf teachers. Excuse me!? I spent so much time with RPGs! Am I supposed to
be one of the airheads who don't know the answer!? What, I'm an airhead of the same level!? It's as if all my strategizing in games were ridiculed at! Whoa, so, like, you have the right to say that school was bad for you later!? Heck yeah, you do. Finally, at home - my father! Without the freaking slightest bit of understanding, he started scolding me for being on the Internet. It's not like there's anything for me to study! I'm much much better than scum who watch porn on the net or those idiots who go out. I'm doing R-E-S-E-A-R-C-H, freak! That's right, people - here you see the REAL Wilson, who has accepted his true self - he hates
people, he hates his efforts being wasted, he loathes being misunderstood! His true feelings is that he's bitter about the world! What's so good about going to school!? You don't even feel secure! You get bullied like shit, it's much better staying home during the holidays! Edbert asked me how come constant gaming doesn't bore me. Of course it doesn't! It's so nice to feel the warmth within games! You don't know how much emotion I poured into them! They don't diss you. They don't take advantage of you. Trying to be nice to experience fun school days!? Screw that! They don't care if you're nice! In the end, I'm just ... a freaking disgusting lameass pig, okay!? I'm a stepping stone! A mere pawn! I ain't no Genie! Ain't no Room 215! In the end, the world will just leave me behind ...
Well ... I finally said it. I finally accepted my true self. It feels so refreshing. It's that one part inside me I've been rejecting so far, trying to keep to the opinion that I'm a 'good guy'. I'm no ... 'good guy'. I guess I really can do sincere good, but all the good I've done in the past ... were just to suppress my doubts of myself. I don't want ... to be a 'bad guy'. I think I'll let my heart be in charge from now on. Who cares about being nice? I really should've listened to Sharon's advice and retaliate to people taking taking advantage of me next time onwards. I mean, I ain't a tool. I'm a person.
I think ... I'm going to split for now. I was really working on my draft for this year's Commonwealth Essay Competition ... then I felt like I really needed to vent my anger ... holding up too much isn't very good for health.